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  • Andy Murphy

What does it mean when you can’t sit with your back to the door?

Updated: Oct 4, 2023

Can't Sit with your back to the door | The Secure Dad

I’m one of those people. The ones that like to know what’s going on. I don't feel comfortable when there’s too much moving behind me, close to me. The best example is when I feel strange when seated with my back to the door.

If you can’t sit with your back to the door, you’re not alone or crazy. You’re security minded and that’s a very good thing.

It starts out as an actual feeling on my spine and crawls up my neck. It’s this little sense inside me that wants me to turn around. It feels something like “spider-sense.” It tingles like that. I am one of those souls that can’t sit facing away from a door. Police officers know what I’m talking about.

Most people who can control where they sit in a room will naturally take a position where they can see what’s going on. They sit where they can observe the room and the main points of entry. They want to be able to recognize who is coming and going and what that might mean to them.

The most common place for this type of feeling is a restaurant. Sometimes like at Wendy’s you can choose where you want to sit and get the best view of the dining room. Other times you’re at a fancy, “sit-down” place and you’re encouraged to sit where the host asks.

You can of course annoy the host by asking to sit at a better vantage point, but sometimes that’s not an option. So then begins the race to find the seat that won’t set off your “spider-sense.”

Spider Sense | Spiderman | The Secure Dad

But this sense you have is good. It’s a form of your intuition. Your internal gift of intuition, sometimes called a “gut feeling”, is the little voice inside you that tells you how to be safe. Embracing this voice is a good choice. Don’t shrug it off as an annoyance or paranoia. God gave you this gift for a reason; listen to it and it will make you safer.

Understand that intuition will not instantly grant you the fighting skills of an MMA fighter. But it will help you pick out a creep who’s paying too much attention to your daughter.

Listen to this voice, don’t ignore it! Trust this feeling and learn from it. It will make you and your family safer.

This topic has been so popular that I devoted an entire podcast to this subject. If you want to know more check out episode 43 of The Secure Dad Podcast. You can listen to it now on Apple Podcasts.

Why you can't sit with your back to the door


Andy Murphy

Andy Murphy founded The Secure Dad in 2016 with the aspiration to help families live safer, happier lives. What started as a personal blog about family safety has turned into an award-winning podcast, an Amazon best-selling book, and online courses. He focuses his efforts in the areas of home security, situational awareness, and online safety.


Andy is a husband and father. His interests include coaching youth basketball, hiking, and trying to figure out his 3D printer.

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